Gratitude Journal: Vol. 3

by - 4/13/2017 10:27:00 PM

Hi, all!

It has been a while, I know. A lot has happened to me the past month. If we're friends on facebook, you probably already know that life hasn't been so good to me lately. I feel so out of control in everything that's happening in my life and it scares me. I tried writing about how I'm feeling; however, I thought the rawness of it all might scare you off. So here's a snippet: My once calm sea of emotions got stirred and to be honest, it's a storm in me. Wave after wave, I'm facing head on and I'm trying my best not to drown. 

This premature quarter life crisis hit me hard. It hit me so hard that I am now questioning every decision I made and every little thing going on in my life. 

I may have missed last month's gratitude journal entry, but I sure did learn a lot. I'm trying to make myself a better person for the people who love me and most importantly for myself and my future family. So now I find myself writing my 3rd gratitude journal entry, a month late, with much enthusiasm to share with you the life lessons that took me forever and a person (almost) to realize.

Before I go to Part One, here's my signature irrelevant photo dump: *giggles*

{Part Un}
  1. PHOTOS. I seriously have a poor memory. I often forget things that I shouldn't. So thank God for photos! I have also learned to take as much as you can with people you cherish the most. yes, photos are a big deal coz it's a way to immortalize a moment. Take as much (don't care how quirky you appear to be) as you can in places you want to remember and with people you love most. I'm always afraid to forget, but I always do. Photos are powerful. sometimes I look at photos and it brings me back to the feelings that I felt that actual moment. most of which are happy coz nobody takes photos of themselves crying, right? haha
  2. TODAY. I'm thankful for today and every day of my life. Even if it's hard for me to look at things in life positively lately, I still am grateful for being able to breathe and live. Sometimes, when life gets hard, it's hard to find a reason to live and be grateful for it; but it's good to know that I got someone who loves me every day-- which makes waking up something to look forward to.
  3. TRUST. I'm grateful, beyond words, to people who has faith in me despite being a nobody. I have learned that no matter how hurt we were before and no matter how much we are hurting at this very moment, we should give people the trust they deserve. I never expected to learn this from someone who has trust issues; nevertheless, I'm thankful. You see, I always get comments on how much I trust people easily and lose it the moment they disappoint me (even indirectly). I guess I'm just afraid to get more disappointed and I try to gain control over every situation. I'm working on this.
  4. ALLERGIES. I'm allergic to Capsaicin. Don't know what it is? Feel free to look it up on google. It's mostly found in spicy food and I love spicy! Not long ago, I was home alone and had serious palpitations then I had a hard time breathing that I panicked while talking to doctor friends over the phone. I seriously thought I was gonna die. No joke. Long story short, I'm thankful for my allergy. It made me realize something about having limits and boundaries. It reminded me that I'm no superhero and I should be taking care of myself more and not take my body (or any human's) for granted.
  5. TWO PEOPLE. I rarely talk drama with my friends. It's kinda hard for me to show my vulnerability to people-- even those I'm close with. I have this feeling that it'll be somehow used against me. Trust issues, I know. There are only 2 people on my list who I trust with my thoughts and feelings. You guys know who you are. Thank you for diving and swimming with me in this sea of thoughts and emotions. Thank you for not judging even when you've seen my deepest and darkest side. Thank you for never leaving even when I'm overwhelming. Thank you for helping me go through all these.
  6. COMFORT FOOD. *disclaimer: this is not a sponsored post but I'd be more than happy to make one for you, Jollibee!* Jolly Spaghetti will forever have a special place in my heart. Like ice cream, it just makes everything a lot better. 

{Part Deux}

Aucun. Rest.

from my heart to yours,

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